Monday, July 5, 2010

really - "I hate love stories"

A girl breaks up with her lover saying that there is no love possible in this world between the likes of him and such as her - she hates white flowers (because that is perfect) and she loves to drink during the weekdays, both her lover can't agree upon! How silly?

In the mean-time the guy whom she really loves reaches an airport to fly to his mom's place. This guy who, didn't believe in God and even in Love, until that time, suddenly turns superstitious and starts believing in the omens written on the sign-boards (which he stumbles upon in the airport): Don't Proceed, No entry. Without any proper reason, all the flights get delayed. The display board shows Delay status for all the scheduled flights which our hero takes in as the third omen.
Now, when he is completely convinced that his destiny awaits not at his mom's place but in his girl-friend's love, he sees another omen, numerically the fourth one, written on a bag - "
GO". Immediately, he quits all his plans and reaches out for a taxi to win back his girl-friend's love. Within moments hero proposes to the heroine and they emotionally embrace each other and the movie ends. What nonsense!

At the same time, the sign-board inside the theater to my right displayed "Emergency Exit" in a reddish hue - This is when I took the sign-board as an omen (like our hero), and decided to leave the theater. phew!

Karan Johar's "I hate Love Story" is yet another immature attempt to inject modernity and specious urban life ethics in to the veins of the mass audience. The movie subsists itself with elements of western culture and is so dearth in creativity that we end up whimpering "I Hate Love Stories".

The plot is stale and it hangs around the following characters and situations:

[1] A bold heroine who drinks(elements of modernity), is very serious about her career prospects but is hopelessly confused and fickle when it comes to Love and selecting the "be-all" of her life.

[2] Heroine's lover who is rich and perfect but at the same time a moron and a boring prat.

[3] A modern, "well-bred" hero who is a drunkard and a party animal and is never serious about his job and career . He is flirtatious and even copulates with girls whom he runs into.

[4] Hero's fat and funny friend, fitting the comedy part, who always thinks about the hero and nothing else in the world.

[5] Parents who encourage and promote promiscuity, divorces and even infidelity, of course for the welfare of their own kids.

[6] Hero's boss - who is crazy, displays traits of weirdness and makes the hero work like a drudge till the 80% reel of the movie - suddenly guides him like a mentor to follow his heart and love.

[7] A party song where a bunch of "Use-me" type of girls needlessly shake their booty and flaunt their cleavages

This said, of course the movie has some wonderful songs, funny moments, some witty T-shirt captions, sarcastic gender jokes - but all without a purpose. But I still don't get Karan Johar's obsession for gender jokes esp "dosthana jokes" and the way he peppers it here and there in the movie.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

a typical Sarkari office

I was at a state government office the other day and swore would never join one in my life.

I had heard a lot of sarcasms related to govt offices ,which I had shunned as an exaggeration of events, but the chain of events linked to my 1.5 hours stint at that office proved my conclusion hasty and wrong.

As soon as i entered, i was startled to see a lot of people turning their bums at me . It was a long queue starting from the door and extending to a barred enclosure which i felt was a prototype of jail. Standing in the queue i was rolling my eyes to get a feel of the office environ.

Some people were present in the inner office premises. They were separated from the outside world by insuperable barriers of wooden cabins having considerable height. They all had put on a repulsive countenance with languid eyes. Some of them never bothered to shave, some of them seldom cut their hair: in short, they didn't bother to groom. They didn't even desire the intercourse with public for which they are paid for. Some of them were indulging in their pre-lunch naps and day-dreams. In reality, they were the employees of that office. It seemed as if the work in that peculiar environ has blunted their vigor for living by numbing their senses. They never talked properly but indistinctly mumbled.

Among them, one guy with a specs dropping almost on his nose was giving me stares, that i believe had tinges of suspicion. I squint my eyes to see a lot of piled up dusky files left in the lurch in the background that acted as a wallpaper to the office "desktop". I felt as if i have hit a museum.

A lot of clamped conduit pipes ran across the ceiling of the office. Also, at equal intervals were fitted, ceiling fans that hardly worked. Eminently, my wandering attention stopped at a fan destined to rotate at the lowest design speed possible on earth. Under which a man sat. He seemed busy for nothing. He was the main officer.

Suddenly I realized a lot of people had already intruded in to the standing queue .They were laymen like me, but still they were prodding and nudging each other for space. They complemented their actions by bestowing abusive words on each other. For a moment i thanked god for not knowing Kannada. Abusive words were wafting in the air with highly cacophonous frequencies.

The guy with whom i endeavored to enter this office squared up my position. Still wondering if this building could be called an office, I wanted to stick my ass somewhere. I found a chair which was physically broken but I poised myself well to rest my bums on it. A gentleman well groomed, with tucked in shirts and jean and with an endless smile on his face approached me. May be i looked a bit more edified(clearing my throat!) with my company's badge, tucked in shirts and trousers and spring flower aroma emanating from my armpit, than any other fellow people who loitered around there; who either scratched their obvious joints, or pulled their pants up or stroked their pot bellies. He addressed me "Sir", a word, of which the government offices and it's employees are peculiarly obsessed and susceptible, and continued "mujhe likhna nahin aatha. Aap yeh address is cover ke ooper likh de tho, bahuth meherbhani hogi"
I replied "OK" and helped him in his accomplishment. He requited my favor with a "thank yu" and a smile.

Another guy came. He was staring at the papers in my hand. He talked a lot in Kannada. And then realizing that i was a complete stranger to the language in point he started talking in a "language alloy" of Hindi and English. He was an agent who channeled bribes to the right destinations. I was feeling helpless and wanted to flee but couldn't; just like a feeling we endure in intimidating dreams, where we hopelessly try to fly away from a dangerous situation ,but are rooted to the spot. The idea of bribing him for not disturbing me struck my mind but since my company doesn't encourage bribe, i refused. Realizing that i was not at all interested in making an acquaintance with him, he stole away behind the queue and lurked in an eerie nook as though to take charge on his next prey.

By that time the guy who came with me told that things are messed up big time and the purpose for which we had come was not even quarter done; and for that I will have to visit yet another "sarkari" office in another location. In finality, a business which would have hardly taken 5 minutes, took nearly 1.5 hrs.

Phew!, My professional frame of mind was extremely happy to leave that sickening office ambiance and was eager to get back to my work though with a tremulous hope.

Had seen inscribed somewhere that government work is god's work. Is it? really? - infinite question marks with never ending curiosity!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

3 idiots

"Education is neither about vying for top ranks nor fulfilling one's parents' dream. It's all about craving for excellence and chasing and fulfilling our own dreams. We have to lap up pleasure and feel the passion in what we are learning. "
This iconoclastic message is perfectly conveyed to the masses by the recent Aamir khan film: 3 Idiots.

Idiot no longer means a stupid person. It's time we do away with that meaning. You know, now idiot is a smart/intelligent person; idiot means a person who has realized his/her true goal of life; idiot is one who is able to cunningly convince his/her heart - ' ALL LEZ WELL'.

3 Idiots packed with quality humor, wits and emotions is conceived to be a wholesome entertainer till the last inch of the reel which you may want to experience again and again. It scoffs at the present educational system where the students are molded to be mere puppets in the puppet show directed and produced by parents and teachers. It also takes a dig at the latest educational trend where people frequently switch their fields for sake of their financial convenience.

Rancho(Aamir) says in one of the scenes: "My college is not an engineering college. It is a factory that manufactures donkeys with brains of machinery." Isn't it the truth?
We need to think; Questions do arise: do we really need such an educational system where marks and grades alone smear the quality of education?; Do students have to sweat it out in their school/college days retarding their creativity?; Aren't the outcries of innocent students undercut while we favor the roles of parents and teachers more than what they really deserve?; Is the purpose of education just confined to a highly paid white collar job?

Let's think and put in our best to acomplish the onerous task of changing the existing system or be ready to face the ominous consequences which would include mental retardation, draining of creativity and increase in the toll of student suicide cases.

Had Aamir conceived this idea some 6 years back, i would not have pursued an engineering stream of education. Let's celebrate the movie and educational renaissance in equal measure. This is a kind of movie that would provoke thoughts and stir debates in the coming days. Full stars!.

PS: In this new year let us take a resolution that we won't read reviews of the following smugs anymore: [1] [2].
Lets not call them idiots, call them stupids!

Monday, December 21, 2009


AVATAR is not a novel concept for someone who, at some point in his life, has leafed through the pages of stories that envelope the mythological globe. We had heard about AVATARS of gods; who dwell in heaven, on earth to protect the faith and integrity of people who inhabit here. It is believed that Gods took to AVATAR to understand and immerse Himself into the vernacular of inhabiting people so that he can restore faith on the Earth by destroying forces of evil.

But in the movie it's not God, but t's a man who incarnates into AVATAR; it's not Earth, but a planet called Pandora; and it's neither the task of restoration of faith nor the destruction of forces of evil, but it's greediness and selfishness of human race to confiscate something sacred with hardly any heed to the hues and cries of an entire alien civilization. We have human race i.e simply "We, our greediness" on one side and aliens on the other. We would be musing: whom to support? But indisputably, it's the aliens that survive and triumph and the mineral UNOBTAINIUM still remains as "UNOBTAINABLE"

I recommend this movie for those people who still have a special place for creativity left in their heart. It would definitely slake one's thirst for creativity. And that is exactly what Sir James Cameroon intended: to enchant the audience's eyes and engross their minds, to the highest degree of extent. At the same time he sends a very strong message for us to brood over.

Finally, 3-D is the main attraction of this movie. Watch it only from 3-D theaters, for it can only take you to that amazing world of Pandorra and allow you to live with them - the flora, the fauna and the aliens. Get the 3-D goggles and you are ready for some special visual extravaganza.

P.S: Please do all the chores such as peeing and collecting the snacks before the movie commences. There is no interval in between.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Strange Prem Ki Strange Kahani

Just before the movie culminates, cathartic Jeni(Katrina), cocking a snook at her boy-friend , emotionally stammers before a prying media "I have gone mad because of Prem(Ranbir)". This is exactly what yu may want to tell the director of this movie, Mr. Rajkumar Santhoshi - "I have gone mad, insane and terribly lost not just because of Prem but also because i had sat through your cruel torture."

In the story, the script-writer unconventionally blends the chemistry of Prem and Jeni by bringing forth a strange similarity in their mannerisms. Whenever they are upset, they start stammering. I thought, this mannerism seeped through the movie screen into my nerves, at least for a few minutes, because i started stammering while sharing my review with my friends. Dang! What a visual impact!

How could Rajiv masand even think of giving a rating of 2.5 for such a stupid movie like this. That too, the rating being tantamount to Madhur Bhandarkar's Jail which is realistic in approach and is bang on target. On a serious note, this one is not even worth a review!

Title of this movie delineates strangeness and the movie gives yu an even stranger image. It is fraught with horrible acting skills, wrongly timed songs and irritating jokes that are big spoilers to one's humor sense. Wonder who tagged this under comedy genre? You may have to carry an expert in the art of twitching along with yu who can make yu laugh. At times it reminded me of those old story strips which used to stir me with impractical sense of thoughts in my childhood days.

I believe Bollywood also should start something akin to the lines of Razzies to appreciate the worst movies made in India. Full guarantee, this one would be the best pick among the worst.

All said, there were moments of some great choreography and a preeminent display of Ranbir's dancing skills (especially in the party song).

Saturday, October 10, 2009

black buddy - white dove

Nobel Prize and controversies are always subtly entwined. This time around the controversy has hit a different plane with the Norweigian committee glorifying Obama with the world's most sought after accolade for peace - Nobel Price. This is yet another quintessential example of the so called "OBAMANIA" which originated in US 1 year back and is earning him infatuated fans cutting across different countries and people.
The sitting American Presidents had been so invariably brutal in their approach that a fresher who just managed to talk of peace even without substantial solid efforts, but for his sheer diplomacy, has been given a thumbs - up. And who doesn't want to forget the Patriarchal Presidential lineage of US that had been actively involved in pulling ranks, altercations, scuffles and even wars persistently throught out the last century just to cement thier super-power platform.

Has he done that much to be feted this way? You See, even the Great Mahatma Gandhi who esposued the doctrine of peace is not a Nobel Laureate. Isn't the time period too short to judge an American President?. You see, the nominations for Lobel prize closed 12 days from Obama's presidential swearing in ceremony. Okay let me leave all this banal and trivial queries/ talks to you.

The point here i am trying to focus is the diplomacy factor. If Obama is diplomatic so is the Norweigian Committee. I would say, they have done a commendable and sagacious job if we carefully consider the political scenarios that would be stemming out from this honour. Now Mr. Obama will be forced to keep his atmost good faith as an ambassador of international peace even in troubled and tensed times at least to keep his credentials intact. This is also a token of recognition which vociferously states :

"Yes Obama!, You can do it, You only can do it!". ( Read with immense stress on the word "CAN" )

A new era has dawned with the rise of this great leader as a white dove of international peace and he has got enuf credentials right up the streets.

PS: Opinions are strictly personal and not intended to malign anyone.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

onam irony

Today is Onam - the typical Malayalee festival and I'm at my office from morning 7 curiously contemplating at two of my colleagues, Month-end Madhava and Bald & Brawny Babu (perfect examples of alliteration!), running the Month End Jobs in the datsbase of my client and trying to iron the wrinkles in the software code in between.

There is a popular saying in Malayalam "kanam vittum onam unnanam" which means that yu should sell the last inch of yur property so as to have a salubrious Onam Lunch meal. Now I have money, but i won't find any Onam lunch here, in fact i don't know if i would be able to have anything for lunch on time. Yu can sell yur 'kanam'(property) but yu can't sell your time. That much screwed up!

I am a Malayalee and this is what you call fate, an ironical fate, to be precise. And this augments the irritability factor of my soul by a few Mega Hertz.

My Manager came around 9 AM today in order to patch up with some of the linchpins in our company and was surprised to see us. He had seen us in office while he was leaving yesterday from office. He sarcastically asked "Have you made office your home?" "Yeah!" we replied with the same intensity of sarcasm.."we have given orders for a bed and cot to be put in here."
Then he figured out me.."hey Man! I heard that it is the occasion of Onam today. You should be in temple chiming the bells." I just couldn't withstand my laugh (because it is around one year since i've been to a temple). I asserted "then who will do this activity. This shows my dedication and commitment when it comes to my work." Instantly, dose of sarcasm rather a veracious fact came like an arrow from his mouth.."I very well know the meaning of celebration in yur dictionary. Yu will celebrate Onam by boozing over night." Thanks to Sheetal's Party!

Meanwhile, my inbox , both email and phone is jam - packed with the warmest greetings crammed with flavor of Onam which i have been receiving from my closest people. My mind is brimming over with thoughts. I wish I was there at my home town with my parents, my sister, other relatives and friends and devouring that Onam Meal.

As this Onam drops in, I along with my nostalgic memories is waiting ..... for the next one

I swear, next time, i would definitely celebrate my Onam at my home.

Kanam vittum Onam unnum!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Hyderabad - the bustling capital of A.P is a whirlpool of different cultures and is richly endowed with values and traditions.

There is a myth - Pearls from all over the world congregate at Hyderabad. Different people from different parts of the world bring them here. People here are believed to be real craftsmen. They painstakingly perforate holes in these pearls and carefully concatenate them to form strings, necklaces etc without injuring them physically. In a way, this can be extensively attributed to the character of denizens in this culture rich city. People like me come over here from different places and the denizens here, without injuring our souls, make us feel that we are part and parcel of the Hyderabadian string.


Salarjung Museum

This edifice is a must watch. The history has been brilliantly absorbed on to every piece of material here. Be it armoury, clothes, tools, crockery...anything and everything. The entire collection is believed to be from a single person - Salarjung X [ don't remember the exact numerical suffix of the King] whose amazing penchant for the worldly materials made this museum a landmark one in Indian History.

Bill gates would be nothing if a dexterous thief really decides to loot this Museum. Such is the opulence that pervades every nook and corner of this marvelous Museum.

Hotel Paradise

The name itself says it is a heaven; yeah ... it is, at least for the delectable biriyani they cater.
Hyderabadi biriyani is characterized by right blend of popularity & cash and by proper mix of chicken/mutton & basmati rice. Too heavy to be finished in a single shot!. You come out of this hotel with high frequency of burping.

Golkonda Fort.

A fort is always considered to be a very strategical zone. As stipulated in Arthasasthra( written by kautilya) ; a fort should be built in such a way that it provides ample resistance to the marching inimical army, ample time for spawning diplomatic moves and ample time for the king to escape in case of inevitable danger.
It is believed that this dilapidated monument (now) was once made of stones out and out and only stones without any reinforcements. [As a part of conservation of historical monuments program the reinforcements have been filled into this structure.] This fort encloses a clapping zone. It is believed that the reverberations of a clap from this particular point could be heard in the king's court a few hundred meters away . The king took this as a harbinger of danger and could manipulate the future course of action.
This fort also encompasses remains of turrets from where the archers used to shoot arrows unnoticed.
It also nestle lots of eerie spaces where the bats inhabit which ropes in researchers even from Nat-Geo channel.

Wait till this Blog gets populated

Thursday, August 20, 2009

gearing up for a journey

After months of gloomy gap, i am warming up to the idea of a well-planned expedition - this time to explore the heritage of Hyderabad/ Secunderabad, the only twin cities in India.

I am gonna be out to visually capture the charm of the twin cities, to embrace the historical heritage, to titillate my taste buds with hyderabadi biriyani and to modulate my ear drum to the telugu tune.

Meanwhile, I have given a fabulous and interesting offer to my dad, who used to be my Credit card, Debit card and ATM once - to sponsor me. I still don't feel any embarrassment in burning a hole in his wallet.

So, If everything goes fine, I will be boarding the Korba express tomorrow at 11.30 p.m and the hyderabadi breeze will be flirting with my hair day after tomorrow from 10:35 am; the timings being subjected to the erratic railway timings.

But as my colleagues say, bad things happen in IT sector, worse things happen in my company and worst things happen in my project. So I would be running a narrow risk of canceling this much awaited trip whose roots I have been watering ever since I heard about this place for the first time.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Just another leaf in my blog, life

The quality of hospitality is very closely knit into the fabric of Bangalorean culture. Bharath, one of my colleagues in office was the first to inform me about this fact and last Sunday went on to prove that.

We had a lunch invite in our hands when we woke up in the morning. I along with Hari, Ganesh and Naveen were invited for a lunch by our colleague Sushma and her hubby, Madhav (italicized in order to stave off some curious questions), @ home at BTM layout. They gave the impression of a good couple. In fact they showcased clear-glass felicitousness and accessibility.

Best description of Sushma would go like this - In a twinkling of yur eye, she shots across the entire office with an arrowy swiftness.Phew! Madhav; don know much abt him; too early to sketch the character here, but he looked nonchalant, composed and more a person who was able to fit into our table.

Think they put a lot of effort in shaping their respective roles as hosts. They had whipped up a variety of delectable dishes which we liked. But there should be a limit to everything and there is something called formality. So we kept that formality and had a little less than what we should have really had. Probably this best explains why we ate less. And it was unfortunate to hear that she threw the rest of the chicken curry the next Thursday..Oh Gosh! Okay Fridges are always cool!

Post lunch we really enjoyed with Naveen in the center stage. He impersonated and brought most of our project members to life in just a matter of second with his adorable skills. For that we just had to close our eyes. Little wonder, when we heard that he fetched his present job by imitating the speakers' accent during the listening test which our company had conducted while campus recruitment. On the sidelines of gossiping we literally blasted a lot of people's ass though in between Madhav gave some occasional advises about our career and prospects.

So after a long lull, apart from the routine washing of clothes, popping into some odd shops, at the maximum watching an odd movie, I enjoyed an offline get-together with some of the best people i have ever seen in my life so far.

Unfortunately not a single snap to put here, I just missed my cam!